I Will Make Her Alive Once Again!

-          A letter to the best mom ever!

Hey love!

I miss you day and night; I cannot get over your deadly smile!
From waking up and realizing that you aren’t at home to spending those hard nights without you being to my rescue kill me each and every second.

Life is uncertain, you need to learn to live without me- this is all you said me again and again! I remember how we used to shed tears after thinking of that real separation. And then you trying to cover things up made me feel light by saying that- stop crying komal, I am not going now.

Naming me komal and expecting me to deal strongly with such a devastating situation was one of your ironical expectations. Memories are all that help me to breathe. I know you too weren’t ready for this, but somehow god needed you more I feel. So, how are you there? Is it a better place to be? Don’t they annoy you like we did? Do you miss me? Do they make you laugh like me? And so many questions I have for you my gorgeous lady!

This isn’t the first time I feel broken, but surely this is the first time when you aren’t here with me. Do you remember when I joined school, how badly I rolled over the floor when you walked back home? You said me: Go, I am here waiting for you to finish your studies and I happily went forward. But one day, you got late and I found out that you were fooling me till now. And presently, i feel the same as I felt that day! You fooled me once again and this time even didn’t came back to wipe my tears.

Nobody in this entire universe is as precious to me as you were and always will be! I told you this million times but will say it again- you were the coolest and brightest of all. Even if we didn’t have much time together in this world, but the moments we have created out of that have been engraved in my soul forever! We were the perfect hang out partners, perfect selfie-posers, soul mates, best-friends, gossip queens, fashionistas and what not! We have a connection that only we can feel and relish!  And I promise you that this connection won’t fade ever!

They say that I should move on in my life, I should start forgetting you little by little, I shouldn’t think about you much, I should get over you as if you were a misfortune, I don’t get it mum, why do they fill my ears with such irrelevant talks? They can never feel my pain, they can never understand me the way you did, and they can’t even bring a smile on my face and expect me to forget someone who has been the reason behind my happiness from the time I felt alive. That’s so hurting!

I am not going to forget you my soulmate! I am not going to forget the lady who struggled rigorously to get me into a decent school, who started working to fulfill my needs even though she had ample of household responsibilities, I am not going to forget the one who didn’t bought a new dress so that she could buy me one more, I am not going to forget the women who gave me the strength to live and made me who I am today and there are uncountable sacrifices she made and battles she faced for me and my happiness.

  I am not going to forget you ever, I am not going to move on as who will want to let go of the most beautiful times of their life? And that doesn’t mean that I will throw myself in depression, detach people and disconnect with life! That just means that now, I will strive hard for all the dreams you left on me to complete. I won’t let your struggles go waste, I will make it happen! I promise that I will move through this hard phase and spread the love, happiness and love your presence poured into my life.

For me it’s a disappointing and disheartening reality that I will never be able to feel you in person again, but somewhere I know that you are always looking at me and praying for my success as you always did! And your prestigious prayers like always will support me this time too! You will be missed forever my lady and I will ensure that through my efforts the world too remembers you for a lifetime.

I will make you alive once again!

-          From your komal

To be continued…..